Barbara Sinclair
SEPTEMBER 26, 2017
I was 48 years old when I woke up one spring morning with a strange pain coursing through my body. The day before I’d thought I was coming down with the flu, but on this day, I felt fine except for the odd unexplainable pain.
When it didn’t go away after a week or so, I made my way to a doctor whose best guess was that a virus had settled in my muscles. He sent me on my way, saying that it would likely run its course in a couple of weeks. It did not. When weeks turned into months, I began the quest for answers to this pain that began to consume me, robbing me of sleep, and leaving me feeling fragile, afraid, and alone. I didn’t look sick, and I wasn’t comfortable being on the receiving end of care. I wanted answers, and I was not getting any from doctors.
So one afternoon I sat down at a computer (this was 15 years ago, and I barely used one at the time) and typed in the words “pain all over.” Up popped the word “fibromyalgia” over and over and over again. I had my answer! Or so I thought. Armed with this strange word as my self-diagnosis, I went back to my doctor and said: “This is what I have.” The description matched my symptoms to a T.
By this time, I was beginning to sense that the doctors thought I was slightly delusional. One of them had to get out a big book to look up the word “fibromyalgia.” She was kind and sympathetic but admitted that she had no clue what was going on with me. I remember feeling very alone. Antidepressants were suggested. Anti-anxiety medication. Sleep medication. Pain medication. Steroids. I tried them all and then I had an awakening. You know, one of those life-changing moments. A lightbulb went off. An aha moment, as Oprah likes to say.
The drug route was not for me. I already had a myriad of symptoms from this strange syndrome—pain all over, hypersensitivity to any kind of stimuli, bone-deep fatigue, insomnia, and so forth. I did not need any more from the side effects the drugs were giving me. And so began my foray into the world of holistic and alternative healing. Because, you know, the mind, body, and spirit are all connected.
